For me, two things are guaranteed every holiday season:

One, I will buy a ton of pretty wrapping paper and ribbons, even though I already have enough in the basement to wrap Christmas gifts from now until I am 80.

And two, I will gain a sleighful of new clients who call or email me in the midst of a major party-related wardrobe meltdown.

Inexplicably, average women who otherwise have their closets in order, who know how to shop and put outfits together, seem to be the ones most prone to this seasonal phenomenon.

Holiday fashion freakouts can reveal themselves in many forms. Time and again, I see women panicking from a year’s worth of weight gain and the discovery that their standard go-to party clothes no longer fit. Others feel puzzled about unusual (and sometimes downright bizarre) dress code recommendations for holiday parties. And some need an overwhelming number of different outfits to attend a variety of events, from their kids’ Christmas pageants to their own and their spouse’s work parties, plus casual clothing for home parties and a glitzy New Years Eve out.

Indeed, holiday parties can be the gift that keeps on giving, and sometimes not in a good way.

Anytime a client of mine has a wardrobe meltdown – whether related to the holidays or not - it is my goal to make sure it never happens again. As Benjamin Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” (Although I wonder if old Ben could have imagined his advice would one day relate to a battery-powered light-up cowboy Santa lassoing a cactus sweater.)

And you thought I was joking

As we’re getting ready for the year’s biggest party season, here are a few ways that we can all avoid celebration-induced trauma in our own closets.

1. Know what you have

There is no time like the present (ooh, presents! ok, I need to focus here) to take stock of what you already own. Try on each piece of your holiday wardrobe. A few questions to ask yourself:

Does each piece fit?

Is the outfit appropriate for the event?

And most importantly, is it consistent with my current style?

If you answered “no” to any of the above, you may want to re-evaluate that item of clothing or the outfit as a whole.

Additional questions include:

Who is going to see me in it?

Who has already seen me in it?

Some women are highly sensitive to being seen in the same outfit twice or more. Others are not. You will have to answer that question for yourself. While some women focus on having a lot of different clothing options, others prefer to have a few quality pieces. It’s a matter of preference.

2. Resist the temptation to take the easy way out

I have been to many Christmas parties that are filled with women wearing a festive red sweater and black pants. Sometimes the path of least resistance ends in Boringtown, ladies. Even if the sweater is sparkly and embellished, it can still be considered a “uniform.” Change it up a little – even if you pair that same sweater with a black skirt and patterned tights.

3. Be like Santa – Make a List

If you are very social or have a lot of activities happening around the holidays, make a list of all the events you will be attending. Next to each event, make a general note about what you plan to wear. This can mean anything from a sweater and jeans for a party at a friend’s house to an evening gown for New Years. And then put a check next to any event that you are entirely prepared to attend. As you prepare outfits, hang them together in your closet. You may even want to hang your accessories in a freezer bag over the hanger, so all the elements of your outfit are in one spot when you need them.

4. Learn to decipher the dress code

I get an unbelievable number of calls, emails and even tweets from people all year long asking what various dress codes mean. I will give you my secret for knowing what to tell everyone: If the dress code is new to me, I google it. At least it gives me an idea of what is intended. And if that doesn’t work (I am still wondering what “warehouse chic” is), simply call the party’s host or hostess and ask. That way, you will never feel uncomfortable at an event because you are over- or underdressed.

5. Don’t run out and buy something new!

This is the ultimate fashion freakout, and trust me, we’ve all been there. If you know what you have and what you need early enough, you won’t have any reason to panic. Some of the basics I keep on hand are a black cocktail dress, a navy cocktail dress, long black tiered skirt and a new skirt (top left) I bought the other day at Target, of all places!

I was imagining all the different ways I can wear it:

With a red cardigan or a black tuxedo jacket, or a ruffled white shirt or a blazer if I am attending a business function. I know it’s a piece I will be able to wear for years and I can’t wait to have fun with it!

If you have a number of basic pieces, sometimes all you need are chandelier earrings or a fabulous necklace or brooch to look both festive AND fashionable! And isn’t that more sensible and far less expensive than buying a whole new ensemble?

*

And finally, I know all of you know this, but please leave the tacky Santa, reindeer and snowman sweaters to people attending kitschy ugly sweater parties. We all have far too much self-respect to wear them in the real world!

Unless, of course, your name is Mark Darcy. In that case, you have my permission to wear them all you want.

*swoon*

The one time when I don't want a margarita:

A fashion lesson

This is an extreme example, but it works for anyone, regardless of what you wear on a daily basis, from professional clothing to your casual gear.

The name of the guilty party has been withheld. But she knows who she is.

I attended an event today and found the offending party in full Margaritaville regalia. And no, she does not work for the restaurant chain.

The outfit consisted of:

- Black Margaritaville track suit with sparkly logo on front and huge lime green sparkly margarita on back

- Black Margaritaville T-shirt with same sparkly lime green sparkly margarita on front

- Dangly silver chain earrings

- Massive silver chain necklace with big lime green pendant (and she was very proud that she can change the pendant's color depending on what she is wearing)

- Mega-sequined silver flip-flops

The theme, colors and sparkles were so overdone that she looked one of the Over-60 Housewives of Palm Beach!

This is someone who should know better. She is also someone I dress occasionally. When I asked her about the outfit, she snapped that she wasn't going to a fashion show. I wasn't saying that she looked horrible. My concern was that she was trying way too hard to look stylish.

Here's why:
- I'm all for sparkles and glitz, but if you're of a certain age, they can age you

- Too much flair can be deadly
Where was the flair in this outfit? Everywhere! From the dangly earrings to the extra large necklace, the sparkles all over the front and back of the outfit, as well as the glittery flip-flops. Each eye-catching piece is another distraction. Those distractions take away attention from the person, where it is supposed to be, and put all the focus on the miscellaneous stuff they're wearing. The eye jumps from sparkle to bright color to the movement of the jewelry.

- Mix it up!
If you have an outfit that you bought together and matches, split up the pieces sometimes. Even if you need to force yourself to do it. There is no law that says you have to wear all the pieces together. For her age, I would have loved to see her in stylish jeans, a white T-shirt, and that sequined black zip-up track suit jacket. In this outfit, less would have been more. Even if all the clothing pieces stayed the same and she really wanted to wear a necklace, a smaller, less colorful piece would have been better.

My philosophy is that a 5 year old can match their clothes. It takes more creativity and style to think outside the box and put outfits together. At most, repeat an accent color (lime, in this case) a maximum of three times. My magic number happens to be twice - just enough so that it looks like I put some thought into my outfit, but not so much thought that it looks contrived.

There is a difference between caring how you look and being too aware of your appearance. True style - whether you really have it or if you're faking it like so many of us do - relies on being comfortable with yourself and making what you choose to wear look effortless.

The Lost Keaton?

I dressed up in a sort of goth, sort of emo chick getup for a Halloween party last night.

I just realized who I resembled.

Tina Yothers from Family Ties after she dyed her hair black.

Not quite the look I was going for.

I was *really* not that pasty white and did not resemble a rogue cast member of a Rocky Horror troupe.

Pursuit of Bad Style

It was my distinct honor to be asked to provide today's snarkiness for Mel's blog.

She asked me to give style commentary for some of the worst fashion tips of all time - how to steal your boyfriend's clothes and, um, "rock" them.

Take a look at the list and judge for yourself.

Fashion Anti-Lessons from the Polygamists

I've been watching the extremely sad polygamist situation unfold like the rest of the country. While I try not to debate politics or indulge in social commentary in my blog, my sadness is for those children, and no one else. What a logistical nightmare for the state of Texas, but I trust that it had to be pretty bad for them to undertake it.

As a judicious student of the sometimes subtle and sometimes in-your-face language of appearance, I have been reading volumes into what the women's clothing, hair and absence of makeup are saying.

Finally, the media has started picking up on it:
Polygamist wives' clothing looks to past
Polygamists make their own fashion statement

I actually used these women as an example in my presentation last week to a group of women from Eaton Corp. A lot of companies I work with want their employees to dress conservatively, of course. But taken to an extreme, you get the women from this polygamist sect.

Can modern women learn lessons from these women? Yes, we can.

Of course, I think it's safe to say that we would never dress this way. But there are a few valuable "what not to wear" lessons here. Their lifestyle is what makes them different than most Americans, of course, but their unique "look" is what separates us even further.

Perhaps we would feel a little more sympathy toward these mothers who have lost custody of their children if they looked a little more like us. Don't you think?

Let's gain a little more insight into what they're telling us:

Color Messages
While most of us dress to look more attractive, these women are clearly trying to make themselves less so by wearing dull colors and pastels. Colors, of course, are never just colors. The colors we wear carry incredibly strong subconscious psychological messages.

Dull colors (grays and muddy blues) are unflattering on almost everyone. They make us look drab, lackluster, ashen, or even sick.

Pastels, on the other hand, send an overly feminine message that
takes power away from us. And like the dull grays and drab blues,
pastels flatter very few people. Most often, they simply undermine our credibility and the respect we receive from others.

The message for modern women is this:

If you want respect and credibility, trust the "power neutrals" - black, navy, gray and brown. Accent those with shades of white or bright or deep colors, which are generally more flattering to everyone and they have the desired effect - you look more alert, confident and independent when wearing them.

Modesty & Uniformity
There is a reason most of us don't work at jobs that require a uniform. We value our individuality. We celebrate it.

What does it say when you look like every other woman in your community? You become interchangeable with everyone else. You are not allowed an identity of your own. Isn't that just another facet of having no power and no control over one's future and life?

I know a lot of us are bothered by the way women live in the Arab world - covering their bodies and sometimes their faces as well. They are second class citizens and the property of their husbands. Extreme modesty is expected.

Clothing is often an external manifestation of what's happening inside a person. The uniformity in the way the sect members dress, combined with the modesty factor is an outward sign of being under someone else's control and being brainwashed, no matter how much they state they are there of their own free will.

I mean, they stated they pray to the prophet and have his picture hanging all over their compound.
...and the "prophet" is imprisoned polygamist Warren Jeffs!!!! Now that's mind control - and cult behavior.

Hair & Makeup
My business is appearance - making people look more attractive and creating congruence between their appearance, personality, lifestyle and goals. In my whole life, I have never heard of women trying to look unattractive. Women in every corner of the world adorn themselves with jewelry, and many wear makeup, whether it's made from primitive pigments or comes from the department store.

Not that it's wrong to not wear makeup, but as I teach in my seminars, it's a proven fact that women who wear makeup make more money, look more alert and independent.

While this may seem like the "research" of Cover Girl or L'Oreal (at least that's what the skeptic in me said when I first heard the statistics), it was actually from a study done by two economics professors at the University of Wisconsin.

In modern times, we've been locked in a battle of the sexes for years - especially in the workplace. For women, makeup is another vital part of our arsenal for bringing us to the same "level" level with men. Males have a stronger brow line (superorbital ridge) and more pronounced facial features. With women's softer features, we need something to give more power to our face. By wearing makeup, the eyes "pop", the cheekbones are more defined, and the mouth is stronger.

In addition, makeup just makes us feel prettier and more unique and it gives us more confidence. To not take advantage of the benefits of makeup is to surrender some of one's personal power.

So what's up with the bizarre hairdo?

The women of the polygamist sect do not cut or color their hair. They wear it in an old fashioned braided style, going all the way down the back. There is very little variation from woman to woman. This should be no surprise, since we already determined that individuality is the farthest thing from their minds.

The religious reason for the hair is to "wash the feet of Christ at the second coming." I am not commenting about their beliefs - we are all allowed freedom from religious persecution in this country.

My concern is the stripping away of their individuality, taking anything that makes them unique and making them interchangeable with every other woman of their same age and build in the sect. I have to wonder - how many of those children have run up to their mom at least once and started tugging on her skirt, only to realize it was someone who looked just like her?

It's more than a little Stepford Wives-ish.

Lessons for the modern woman?

I see women with long hair all the time. I have nothing against long hair - in fact, mine is getting pretty long too. The issue I have with long hair is when it gets overly long - then it's just hair. It's not doing anything for us. The right hairstyle and color can make us look younger, hotter, thinner (can you believe it?!), and besides clothing, it is the best outward expression of our personality and lifestyle.

Some women have argued with me that long hair is more feminine. But truly, hair doesn't need to flow all the way down the back in order to be attractive and feminine - even sexy.

(Case in point - does anyone think Lindsay Lohan's looooong blonde hair is even remotely attractive? It has gotten to the point of being too long and overpowers her.)

When hair gets too long, the problem is finding something to do with it. Ponytails....braids....

scrunchies....clips....headbands..... they all make life more complicated. The more we have to do, the more work it takes to manage our appearance, the more we are likely to slack off. Admittedly, for me, the first place I will slack off is in the hair department.

For the women of the polygamist sect, their elaborate, old-fashioned hairstyles seem to be a way of dealing with the length of the hair, but also they are a reminder of a lifestyle that is based in the past.

One of the things I tell the women I work with is that their hair will quickly date them. Change your hairstyle - even if it's moving the part or adding bangs or getting a little adventurous with it every twelve months. A woman who has had the same hairstyle for ten or twenty years is telling the world that her ideas, her knowledge base and even her skill set are not updated. And in our fast-moving society and workplace, that can be the kiss of death.

In conclusion....
We probably look at the polygamist women and see nothing that relates to our lives. But if you look deeper, you can see a sad situation for everyone involved. Their appearance is speaking volumes to us about what their lives are like, their mental state, and the level of control they are under.

If we see a graphic visual example like this - of conformity, extreme modesty and excessive plainness - combined with the sad story that is unfolding behind the scenes, we can get a sense of what their everyday lives are like. They live under someone else's control and are forced into unspeakable situations.

Being a modern woman is about being yourself, being unique, having confidence and self-esteem. It's about being able to speak your mind and create a strong vision for where you want to go in your life. It's not about us being a bunch of feminists - it's just a basic human right we all have.

Perhaps if we saw some those qualities reflected in the sect women, we might have a little more sympathy for their plight.

What is the saddest thing I've seen in the coverage of this situation?

When one of the young mothers showed her little daughter's closet which was filled with smaller versions of the puffy-sleeved dresses the mothers wear. To me, it was an undeniable symbol of the systematic control over and abuse of these women.

Sad. Best of luck to the state of Texas for doing something about this and having the best interests of the children at heart.

Fashion Exorcism on TV

Here's a link to the Fashion Exorcism that aired this morning on That's Life on Fox 8.

I like the little ghosties ->

Fashion Exorcism on TV

We had so much fun today shooting a real-life Fashion Exorcism today for a segment for That's Life on Fox 8, which will air sometime soon.

When I asked my community for a volunteer who would allow us to "exorcise" their closet, I got a lot of responses, but we ultimately selected the very best one. There was a lot that needed to be exorcised from inside the very small space, namely:

- her high school uniform skirt
- one of the worst pieces of Christmas-theme clothing I've ever seen (with reversible lumberjack print too - ugh!)
- her prom dress
- a looong potato sack "maternity" muumuu
- the first suit she ever owned, circa the early 90's - complete with - what else? - shoulder pads

I knew we had made a breakthrough when Krista, our, um, "victim" tossed the first piece on the floor, saying she was done with it! Good for her!!! We made a nice size pile on the floor.

My diagnosis:
Krista was hanging onto her happy high school years by keeping some of her old clothes in sight. But she now has a husband and three lovely kids. It's time to make some new joyful memories!

She can let her little girls play dress up with the prom dress eventually!!

L-R - Me, our segment host, Q-104's Rebecca Wilde and Krista

These are a few DIY Fashion Exorcism tips:

1) You should enjoy wearing and feel comfortable in your clothes. If you don't, get rid of them! Don't feel guilty - even if it's something you received as a gift.

2) Keep clothing in your closet that fits you NOW - not 20 pounds from now. Some people have their "thin" clothes right out in front, which can be a good motivator - or they can make you beat yourself up because the scale isn't moving in the direction you want.

3) If you can sell the item, try a consignment shop; if it's career clothing, donate it to a charity like Suit Yourself; and if it doesn't fit those two categories, your local Goodwill or Salvation Army will be happy to take it off your hands. Remember, clothing donations are great TAX WRITE-OFFS!

4) If a piece of clothing reminds you of a bad time in your life - a relationship gone wrong, a funeral, divorce, etc - by all means take it out of there. You don't want that negative energy hanging around!

Fashion Exorcism

This article started in a closet. No shock there. Every woman’s closet I see is different in so many ways. But at the same time, every closet is the same in one particular way:

There are eerie, disembodied voices and ghosts of styles past
that haunt each and every one.

It shouldn’t surprise us that the spirits in the movie Poltergeist took up residence in a female’s closet. So I guess that makes me the creepy little woman who is called in to “cleanse” it. It is my job to purge the ghosts and banish the little voices so that you can build your wardrobe, style sense and confidence on a brand new foundation.

In clearing out their wardrobes, women always tell me the stories behind their clothes – and unintentionally clue me into whose voices have shaped and continue to influence what they buy, what they hold onto, what they would never wear, and what they wear way too often.

They’ve cited their moms, grandmas, aunts, daughters, mothers-in-law, husbands, friends, a best friend from high school, department store sales staff, Heidi Klum, Clinton and Stacy from What Not to Wear, the ubiquitous Oprah, their therapist, Victoria Beckham, their kids, and even old boyfriends as influences over what they wear.

Not all those little voices that have shaped what you wear are positive, are they? Do they tell you to wear items you love and that make you feel wonderful? Or do they criticize and nitpick?

Who is haunting your closet?
Can you identify five things that have been said about YOU, your clothing, or about style in general that have stuck with you? Are they positive or negative? Who said them?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Dear Old Mom
Let me guess. Your mom was on your list more than once. Moms are our primary style consultants as we’re growing up, aren’t they? And a woman’s mother always lives in her closet in one way or another.

Some of the things I’ve heard “mom’s” voice say in client’s closets:

“You can’t wear red (yellow, green, black, brown, white, etc, etc…) because it washes you out.”

“Your hips are too wide to wear skirts.”

“Don’t wear costume jewelry.”

“Long skirts are modest.”

“Shopping at JC Penney’s is sensible.”

“As long as it fits, keep it.”

“If it doesn’t have holes in it, keep it.”

“Buy for your kids first.”

“You’re too tall to wear heels.”

“Only shop at sales.”

“Only rich people shop there.”

Did you ever wonder where your mom heard what she was telling you? It was probably from her mom’s voice in her own closet! We may be living with the ghosts of the 1950’s or the even the Depression-era in our closets and we don’t even know it!

(Hmmm….my grandma grew up living with HER grandmother, so that probably means I can trace my closet voices back to mid-1800s Poland. Scary indeed!)

Well-Meaning Girlfriends
We can also be misled by our friends. There are those friends who tell you everything looks great on you (the enablers – they allow you to waste your money on styles that may not be the best because they are afraid to give an honest opinion) and those who give a little too much constructive criticism (“Those jeans make your butt look HUGE!”). The negative sticks with us for a lot longer than compliments, unfortunately. And the problem is that neither friend is doing anything particularly helpful. They’re hurting us more than they’re helping!

Be Sensible
Think of all the people who have influenced what you wear over the years. What has stuck with you?

Then ask yourself this question:
Does it make sense to me now, or have I been listening to it for so long that it has lost all reason?

If it doesn’t make sense, it’s time to banish those voices from your closet and stop allowing misguided advice (and the poor clothing choices they have caused) to manifest in your closet. If you like red, then WEAR RED – there are shades that flatter everyone! If you love skirts, then find a shape that flatters you and wear skirts all you want! Shop wherever you feel comfortable and at places that fit your budget. There are great items to be found at every price point.

It’s my pleasure to be called in to clear out the evil spirits from a lot of women’s closets. I banish the scary voices from their heads and eradicate the years of bad advice hanging out in their wardrobe. Believe me, there are tried and true tactics and principles that work for every woman, whether you want to look thinner, taller, younger, more polished, wealthier or more professional.

The first step is to acknowledge the scary spirits that are lurking around. That way, you can exorcise them and build from a fresh perspective.

If you need a closet exorcism, contact me and I will be happy to come to your closet with a crucifix, rosary and holy water (and a lot of great advice!) to banish those spirits, voices and lingering doubts forever!

“This closet is clean.”

Coming next month: Fashion Exorcism Part 2: Ghost Stories

Probably not the best idea...

As you know I report here not only on my fashion triumphs, but also on my fashion foibles. This is clearly in the latter category.

Promise me you won't laugh.

I purchased a sequined tank top today because I saw Hannah Montana wearing something similar and I thought it was cute.

<---OMG - this is it!

I hear you laughing, but it's ok. You're laughing with me and not at me. I do such kooky stuff!!! I laugh at myself all the time.....

KK: Waaaaaay too old to be emulating Hannah Montana, but believes you're never too old to dress like a Muppet!

Cleveland Fashionista: An Oxymoron?

I thought this was quite funny this past week when I was at a meeting downtown. The person I was meeting with expected me to be in New York at Fashion Week. I had to laugh out loud.

To people in my circle, I’m known as the ‘fashionista’ or ‘style maven’. I’ve even been called such in a few articles. I think it’s hilarious. We should all remember that Cleveland is a very small world and to be a fashionista here does not equate to being one in the rest of the galaxy. If I had attended Fashion Week, I would have undoubtedly dressed in a trendier version of my own style, but I still would have looked small-time compared to the REAL fashionistas of the world.

So I started thinking - what does it mean to be a Cleveland Fashionista? Is there such a thing? And if there is, how do you define one? Here is my attempt!

1) She bases her wardrobe choices on common sense, more than anything else. She wishes to stand out NOT because she is dressed like she’s right off a runway at Bryant Park, but because she knows how to pull together a creative yet sensible outfit flawlessly. Other women can look to her for style inspiration.

2) She is aware that Cleveland is not New York, Paris or Milan. She stays up on what’s happening in the world of fashion, but doesn’t feel the need to emulate it directly, for fear of looking completely out of place. She picks and chooses the trends she wears, based on her own personal aesthetic. She knows what looks good on her. And she avoids the things that don’t.

3) She dresses for the weather. Sense wins out every time in a climate like Cleveland’s. She may buy a sexy little jacket, but it may be velvet or even fine-wale corduroy because those have a better chance of keeping her warm! She knows that while turtlenecks are going to be big for Fall ’07, they are always big in Cleveland. Brrrr!

(Still, winter after winter, this Cleveland Fashionista doesn’t learn and still wears high heel boots when the sidewalks are icy. She chalks it up to bravery. She risks life and limb because she WILL NOT be seen in a pair of Uggs. )

4) She knows that those who are consciously mega-trendy are the real fashion victims. They attempt to follow a pack they can’t compete with – the celebs and socialites of the world. A Cleveland Fashionista understands her place in the fashion universe. She knows that being stylish is of primary importance. She realizes that trends spice things up and make life fun – but she doesn’t base every purchase on what the New York glitterati or celebrities in Hollywood are wearing.

5) She has a blue-collar style ethic. She spends her clothing dollars wisely. She invests in the classics and cautiously follows trends. She doesn’t feel guilty for the occasional splurge on an item she absolutely loves. After all, fashion is a guilty pleasure. She is not shy about sometimes shopping at off-price retailers and even brags about the deals she gets.

Her style may be on the conservative side, but with a definite edge, whether it is sexy, artsy, or even a little over-the top. She is not into labels so much as what makes her look and feel her best.

***

While “Cleveland Fashionista” may be an oxymoron, there is no dichotomy in being a “Stylish Clevelander”. There is a lot of style in Cleveland! Get out there and be inspired!!

I Don't Love the 80’s

On Monday, August 7th, trend analyst Kelly Smith and I went out to Crocker Park for my birthday. The visit had a dual purpose since she will be leaving to return to school in NYC and we wanted to do a fall preview column in our September newsletter.

I am not a huge trend watcher, so I’m thankful that Kelly has her finger on the pulse of what’s new and hip in the fashion world. And because the fashion world is constantly recycling old styles, we never know what we’re going to get each season.

Imagine my dismay when I learned that the 80’s were back. Yes, the 1980’s – the decade of Flashdance, Working Girl and the Brat Pack. I thought I was going to die when I saw what the stores were offering. We saw everything from bubble skirts to belted sweater dresses with leggings, super skinny jeans, bold black and white, black and purple, and black and red horizontal stripe tunics – which are wrong in so many ways. I mean, wasn’t Freddy Krueger around in the 80’s? And didn’t he wear a red & black horizontal stripe sweater? Who in their right mind wants to look like that??!!

We also saw a plethora of dolman sleeves, very wide belts, vests with ruffled shirts a la Janet Jackson in 1986, high-waisted skirts, and clutch purses. Layering is still really big. There is also a lot more gray out there than I have seen in years.

What does this all mean?

Kelly thought a lot of the 80’s inspired outfits were cute. And some of them were. But, as I explained to her, there is a reason those styles did not catch on and stay in style and become classics. It is because they do not flatter most bodies. Try putting a big thick belt on a short-waisted woman. Or a sweater dress on someone who has a few pounds to lose. How about a horizontal-striped top on a woman who is topheavy?

Unfortunately, most people are oblivious to their own unique body shape. I warned Kel that the fashion victims would truly be victims this fall. There is a lot that can be done wrong with the season’s clothes. And wouldn’t you know, I was at Beachwood Place the next day when I saw one of those fashion nightmares.

A young woman, probably in her early 20’s was dressed like the 80’s. And I’m sure she thought she looked super cute and on the edge of fashion. Unfortunately, she was about 5’0, very fair skinned, and wearing a black and white horizontal-striped tunic with a wide belt over leggings with flats.

Nothing about this outfit was right for the person wearing it. From the colors and contrast that completely overpowered her to the horizontal stripes that made her look shorter and wider to the belt that created rolls of flab where there probably weren’t any to begin with.

So, yes, the 80’s are back, but I will be warning every trend-conscious woman out there to pick and choose their pieces even more carefully than usual. I am predicting this look will not last beyond winter. Thankfully.