In the working world, understanding the subtle art of a properly put together appearance can help you get hired, fit in, and move ahead. Everyone knows that one fashion faux pas is all it takes to take you out of the running for that job or promotion.
That’s why there are rules. Understanding and implementing the rules of grooming, clothing, and accessories will increase your chances of making a great first impression and will make you known for your high standard of personal excellence.
Your professional appearance is your most powerful business tool. It signals to the world your character, success level, income, and level of sophistication.
Here is a list of what every well-dressed professional should know:
- There is no such thing as a short-sleeve dress shirt. Never, ever wear one with a tie. Unless you are Dwight Schrute.
- On a single-breasted suit or sport coat, always leave the bottom button unbuttoned, though it’s becoming more common to button only the middle button on a 3-button coat.
- The tip of your tie should reach the middle of your belt buckle.
- Collar stays are those little pieces of plastic (or they can be gold or brass-plated) that keep your shirt collar pointy. They get lost easily, so keep a stash of them around.
- Don’t wear a button-down collar shirt with a suit. They clash with the formality of a suit – save them for sport coats or days where you don’t wear a coat.
- Most men choose to steer clear of pocket squares - they’re those little pieces of linen or satin peeking out of the chest pocket of a suit or sport coat. They may be seen as a little pretentious, but if you’re comfortable with them, by all means go for it!
- Always match your shoes and belt.
- Your sock color should tie your pant leg and shoe together. For dark pants, typically match the pant leg. For lighter pants, match your shoe color.
- Your work clothes should only be for work, your evening and weekend clothes should only be used outside the office.
- Your whole appearance will fail without impeccable grooming. Fingernails. Hair. No scruff on your face. Watch the cologne usage.
I have been through a lot of women's underwear drawers. I have also been in the dressing room with a lot of women. Needless to say, I have seen more than my fair share of ratty old panties and bras.
One of the hazards of my job, I guess.
In my estimation, almost all of the women I have been around keep their basic day-to-day undies around for far too long. At least 85% of them are wearing the wrong size bra. Many are also wearing the wrong size and/or style of panties as well.
One of my clients, I will call her "B." actually said, "I'm the only one who knows my bra is probably too small, and no one else cares about my underwear anyway."
Not quite, B. First of all, poorly-fitting underwear IS noticeable. And it's precisely what we don't want to see! People don't notice properly-fitting undergarments, but they can't help but take note when they're not quite right.
From pantylines cutting into your backside to "spillage" in front, underwear that fits properly is our greatest ally. Underwear can also be our worst enemy when we disregard its importance.
It is a sign of respect for yourself and your body when you choose to wear the right size and style of underwear that not only flatters your shape, but is also comfortable. And yes, it IS possible to have both!
Underwear is indeed a very important facet of a woman's wardrobe. It can make a distinct difference in the way your clothes fit, in your perceived body proportion, and even in the sizes you wear! It can also make you look 10, 15, even 20 pounds lighter! Imagine that!
Contrary to popular belief, undies don't have to be boring or binding. And you don't have to be built like a lingerie model to wear underwear that looks beautiful on you and that makes you feel good about yourself every single day.
I would like to cordially invite you to join me in the Underwear Drawer Revitalization Project!
Here's what to do:
STEP 1: Throw out your underwear!
If you spill out over the top or sides
If they have faded or turned gray from washing
If the elastic is loose
If the underwire is sticking out and poking you (owwie!)
If any of the straps or elastic cuts into your skin
If they are uncomfortable in any way
If they cause any unsightly bumps or rolls under your clothes
STEP 2: Buy new Stuff!
Bras!
Fit is everything, ladies. Go to a lingerie boutique for a professional fitting! (Nordstrom is a good bet – they have professional bra fitters on staff)
For a smaller bust - choose a padded bra (okay, this seems elementary, but it will help balance and create proportion and your clothes WILL FIT BETTER!)
For a larger bust - wearing a full-cup underwire or a minimizer will again create balance and make your clothes fit better. Also be aware that you will have to spend more on your bras. Having two bras that really fit well instead of ten mediocre ones is clearly the way to go.
My famous "path of least resistance"? Only buy black or nude-colored bras for day-to-day. White works too, but is more detectable under certain colors. Nude fades into your skintone, which creates the desired effect.
Be sure to have an unseamed "t-shirt bra" for wearing under clingy knits.
Panties!
If you have a flabby midsection, the worst kind of panties you can wear are ones where the waistband cuts right across your stomach. The answer? Wear high-rise shaping panties that end around the ribcage. (Bridget Jones did get it right, but wore the unsexy undies at the worst possible time.)
Somewhere, a smarmy Hugh Grant is saying "Hello, Mummy!"
If you are wearing tight or light-colored pants, beware of the dreaded VPL (visible panty line). This is why thongs were invented. Seriously. Try a silk one for comfort.
Boy shorts accomplish the same as above.
Keep in mind, "the flatter, the better". Rouched and ruffly, even lace panties, can create strange ripples and patterns under your pants and skirts. Wear fabrics that are matte and unembellished. Save the fun stuff for other occasions.
If you find a style of underwear that is wonderfully comfy and flattering, don't be afraid to buy a lot of it. Maintaining a stash of safe pieces sure beats hit-or-miss underwear buying!
As with bras, life is easiest if you keep your everyday undies to a minimum of colors - again, try black and nude here as well. Easier to wash, easier to organize. Just easy. Gotta love that!
Spanx. Use them. Love them. (Also try Assets from Target, made by the Spanx people and costing just a fraction of the original product.)
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Get inspired to create the lingerie drawer you deserve, ladies! It's magical when you can feel beautiful and comfortable with the knowledge that you look totally fabulous in your clothes.
Underneath it all, you know that you are dressing your unique body to look its best.
Now banish those rogue underwires and that stretched out elastic to the trash!!!
Have you ever been in a dressing room trying something on that looked great on the hanger, but when you put it on your body, you literally felt like literally leaping out of your skin?
Maybe it was a frilly dress you wanted to wear to a wedding, when you’re really a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. Or you may have tried on a classic suit - because everyone is "supposed" to have one, even though you are naturally more of a fun and trendy dresser.
Perhaps it felt so wrong on you that your body was completely rejecting it!
Now think about your closet for a second. Is every article of clothing, every accessory, every single item in there a true reflection of YOU - not only does it flatter the way you look - your coloring and body shape - but does it also honor who you are on the inside?
Does it feel right when you put it on, or do you feel like you are wearing someone else's clothes? Is your style consistent every day? And does it reflect who you truly are?
Make no mistake about it, discovering your own personal style is empowering. It will save you time and money and will make every day a pleasure to get dressed. It turns simply wearing clothes into a true expression of who you are now and the person you want to be.
Fashion personality is what separates the style icons like Jackie O., Princess Di, and Audrey Hepburn and even fictional characters Annie Hall and Carrie Bradshaw - from the wannabes.
These are people and characters who understood themselves and found their true style. It became a manifestation of who they were. Whether through simplicity or creativity, they knew themselves and how to express their personality traits on the outside. In other words, they were comfortable in their own skin.
I know, for instance, that when I go into a department store, there may be ten clothing items in the entire place that will truly clothe both my body and my personality. When I'm not wearing what I feel my best in, I don't feel quite as "me."
That's what the concept of fashion personality is all about. Once you figure out the colors that harmonize with your unique coloring and after you learn to respect your body - the good, the not-so-good and the stuff you cannot change without a major investment in cosmetic surgery, the next logical step is to understand how to buy what expresses you.
Think about it this way - rebellious teenagers do this naturally."I'm gonna wear what I want, and if you don't like it, tough!"
So why is it that as we get older, we become more afraid to be unique? We are all individuals, so why not celebrate those differences in the way we dress? There isn’t anyone telling you that you cannot wear a colorful or funky pair of shoes that you love or a fun top or earrings. If it feels right, doesn’t offend anyone and maintains your dignity, who says you can't go for it?
So what is YOUR unique fashion personality? Most of us are a combination of at least two of them.
Alluring - Love to wear body-conscious shapes, low necklines, sexy shoes, etc.
Classic – Gravitate toward tailored lines, are conservative and polished
Dramatic - Like bold clothing, like to draw attention to themselves!
Romantic - Soft and feminine, they love how fabrics feel!
Natural - Minimal in approach, they tend like functionality and tend to gravitate toward texture
Creative - Anything goes, mix and match – they value creative expression
How do you determine your own personality? Well, you probably know yourself pretty well already! But ask yourself these questions:
1. How would you describe your current fashion style?
2. Who is your style icon?
3. If you could have only two things in your closet, what would they be
4. How would someone describe you in terms of your clothes?
5. What would you never be caught wearing?
6. If you had unlimited store credit, where would you shop?
7. What do you wish you could wear, but can't seem to pull it off?
Perhaps the easiest way to figure out your own fashion personality is to take a look at your accessories.
Dramatics like accessories that make a big statement. Classics love traditional pieces like simple pumps and a pearl necklace. Naturals like to keep it simple – maybe a pair of hoops and a functional shoe. Romantics love soft textures, feminine swirls and sparkle. Creative personalities tend to wear whatever they feel like wearing, and Alluring women wear accessories with sex appeal – whether showing off sexy red toenails or a Y-shaped necklace worn with a plunging neckline.
Can you figure out what fashion personality would wear each of these shoes?
Remember, your fashion life is an adventure. Celebrate it! Nothing is right or wrong if it expresses your personality and makes you feel amazing!
Answers
a) Classic d) Romantic b) Alluring e) Creative c) Natural f) Dramatic
I have found repeatedly that both men and women are prone to color ruts. I see it in nearly every closet I enter. The most common color offender is the ubiquitous black, of course, but I also see gray and the beige/oatmeal family catching up these days. And do you know what people tell me? "Well, at least I'm not wearing black all the time." True. And what do I tell them? "You're color choice is probably even less flattering than basic black!"
People in my industry aren't going to love this post. Where I was trained, in the image consulting world, there is only one way to wear the right colors - and that is by having your undertone, hair color and eye color analyzed and obtaining a palette of your own personal best colors to choose from.
While I still believe this is the right remedy because of the results I have seen over the years, the truth is that not everyone is going to invest in color analysis. Sometimes they invite me into their closet and out to shop with them and that is the extent of our work together.
I felt like unless I was the one hand-picking colors for them in the store and choosing from colors they already owned, they would go right back to their 'safe' choices.
Regardless of people's coloring, I have found myself recommending the same five colors to them year after year. I picked these colors because wearing a pop of color is better than dreary black, gray or beige. At least three of them can be found in the stores regardless of the season's trends.
These colors are better for the workplace and interpersonal interactions as well as better for the spirit. Wearing color is an immediate shot of energy for you and makes you visually more attractive to others.
These colors work on brunettes, blondes and redheads for different reasons. But they work.
So if you are stuck in a color rut, the first way to climb out is by adding some new "safe" colors to your closet. If you already own some of these colors but aren't wearing them, you will get extra points if you dig them out and add them to your clothing rotation. You will feel a difference!
Winter has hit the Midwest with a vengeance. While some of us
are lucky enough to live in warmer climates, frosty temps and gray skies are a
bleak reality for a lot of us.
I live in a cold climate.
Cleveland, Ohio, to be exact. I hate winter and all that comes along with it.
Snow, ice, dirty slush, biting cold, frozen hands, runny nose, chapped lips,
chapped face, melting icicles impaling me when I enter a building (am I the
only one terrified of this?).
Hey, I could probably write a song based on
all the things I don’t enjoy about winter. It just know it would become an
instant classic!
But there is a little good news at least!
Having the essentials to look great during the cold weather will undoubtedly
make you feel more confident, uplifted, and ready to take on the world, even if
you would rather stay toasty warm at home in your comfy sweats.
Grab Your Coat
If you are only going to have one coat, the most versatile is
knee-length, single-breasted, and made from a natural fiber like wool or
cashmere. This basic style can work for the most casual of outfits like jeans
and boots, but you can also wear it on more dressy occasions.
Make sure it is a color that you commonly
wear so it fits in with the rest of your wardrobe. Black is what most women
would usually select, but beware - black coats attract copious amounts of lint
and animal hair. It’s never attractive to be seen picking stray fibers
off yourself like a monkey (although I still find that I do it to myself and
others – eek!).
I recommend in lieu of black, going with a
dark, heathered charcoal. It will be much less forgiving with lint.
Let it skim your body. Extra points if it
tapers at the waist or has a belt. This will help to define your waist and make
you look slimmer.
When selecting a coat, make sure it’s
large enough to fit a bulky sweater or a jacket underneath in case you need to
stay extra warm!
This is my favorite part of winter style! Accessorize your
outerwear just as you would the rest of your wardrobe.
Do you have a favorite color or
a color you receive a lot of compliments in? (Ladies, I do not mean
black.) Buy five accessories in that color – a turtleneck, long-sleeve
T-shirt, gloves, a scarf, and a purse or boots. Wear three matching
pieces – maximum – at one time. The idea is that having pieces that match
and work together makes you look like you put a lot of thought into what you’re
wearing - even though you really didn’t!
At the minimum, when I buy a turtleneck, I
am in the habit of buying a pair of gloves to match it.
My fabulous friend
Dee, modeling for a Fox 8 shoot with me
If you wear a few key colors a lot of the
time, look for winter scarves that incorporate those colors. I love
bright colors, and my favorite scarf this year is teal, rust, lime and orange.
It looks great with my brown coat and many of my brightly-colored turtlenecks.
Plus, if I take my coat off, I can leave the scarf on as an accessory!
Add a cute pair of boots and trust me - you
will find that trudging through winter is not quite such a chore!
Did you know that a change on the outside can serve as a catalyst for changing what we want to change on the inside? It can be tough to alter certain aspects of our lives when the proof that we are changing (what is on the outside) remains the same.
It doesn't have to be a dramatic before and after makeover, but a visible change can put you in a positive frame of mind to reach your goals in 2010.
It is never good to become complacent. Far too many of us get stuck with a style that we are comfortable with and it becomes an all too-familiar rut. Whether we’ve had the same hairstyle for 5 years, wear a daily “uniform”, or put our makeup on exactly the same way every single day.
Don’t get me wrong – there isn’t anything wrong with comfort. Many of us like our comfort zones and they work well for us. But sometimes we can become too attached to a routine, style or method and before we realize it, we have become quite resistant to change. One rut can lead to another, which can snowball into our whole lives becoming one big forgettable routine. Even those who bask in their blandness (I know several of you – and I know you are eagerly reading this!) can benefit from mixing it up once in awhile.
Many of my clients tell me they are stuck in a style and don’t know why. Their goal is to look “more interesting” but they don’t know exactly what that means to them – or how to get there.
Here are four ways I recommend to my clients to help pull them out of their fashion ruts. The best part is that you can apply them TODAY!
Get ready to make your New Year more stylish – one step at a time.
1. Expand your reading material
If you’re stuck in a Redbook, Good Housekeeping or Real Simple frame of mind, pick up a few magazines you normally wouldn't read. The aforementioned magazines generally recycle the same style advice month after month and it will do nothing to make your clothing selection more exciting.
Think more along the lines of my personal fave, InStyle – but also look at Elle, Vogue, Lucky, Marie Claire, Harper's Bazaar, or even – gasp – Cosmo! Yes, some of the fashion can be "out there", but don’t lose heart - it's more important to see what’s happening in the fashion world and get ideas.
New Year's Challenge: Start a “look book” of pictures of what you feel fits your style and what you would be comfortable wearing, plus some accessorizing ideas you can use in your own wardrobe.
2. Try a few new stores
Go to the mall and look around at Express, Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, Arden B., H&M, or other retailers you normally wouldn't frequent if you're stuck in a “department store” mentality. Or try a smaller step - venture out of your favorite section of the department store and explore the more trendy parts of the store.
Try clothes on! Even if you always gravitate toward the same styles, you are missing out on a lot if you just look and don't try anything on.
Find a couple of hours this month to go out by yourself or with a friend (not a hubby or boyfriend) and explore the mall in a way you've never done before or haven't done in years. Report back to me. What did you discover about what's out there? What were you attracted to? What did you try on? How did it make you feel?
New Year's Challenge: Buy something totally unexpected that you love but would never buy “in a million years” – AND WEAR IT!
3. Explore Color
What colors are you attracted to? For most people, their color preferences change based on their mood and the time of year.
Most of us have the basics we need – navy, black, gray and brown. But they need to be punched up with accent colors to be more exciting.
By wearing colors you love, you will not only look updated but you will feel a definite lift in your spirits! Wearing color has been proven time and again to be extremely powerful mood enhancer.
New Year's Challenge:Find an accent color or two that you like and buy a few pieces in the same shade (i.e., berry red, fuchsia, forest green, etc). Try a turtle neck, a winter scarf, gloves, hat, long-sleeve tee, purse, or even a camisole in your shade.
(Please only wear a couple pieces at the same time or the matchy-matchy police will arrest you.)
4. Update your Accessories, Shoes, and Hair
The easiest and most budget-friendly way to update your wardrobe is with accessories. Try a funky necklace or bracelet. Or look for a hot new handbag (ask the sales associate what's in and they will point you in the right direction).
I tend to buy a lot of my fun accessories at Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe.
Or buy a colorful pair of boots!
Another place many people get stuck is with their eyeglasses – only changing when their prescription changes. Don’t do this! Invest in new eyeglasses (stores always have deals!) even if your prescription still works for you. Or change your hair a little - get highlights or lowlights if you've never tried them before. Or change your hairstyle – if only slightly.
New Year's Challenge:Buy one new accessory or make one makeup or hair tweak every week. Write these down in a small notebook. Over the year, you will see how you’ve evolved. It’s really rewarding and will set the stage for further change and style (and life) victories!
***
Remember that just as you change and evolve as a person, your style should grow and change right along with you. Don't use this as a one-time fix. Make time for yourself at least once every season and give yourself time to explore what the stores are offering and decide what the next version of YOU should look like.
Gentle steps out of your comfort zone will not only help you break free from your style rut, but will set the stage for success in other facets of your life as well!
Wishing you a happy and stylish 2010!!!
Monday, November 30, 2009
For me, two things are guaranteed every holiday season:
One, I will buy a ton of pretty wrapping paper and ribbons, even though I already have enough in the basement to wrap Christmas gifts from now until I am 80.
And two, I will gain a sleighful of new clients who call or email me in the midst of a major party-related wardrobe meltdown.
Inexplicably, average women who otherwise have their closets in order, who know how to shop and put outfits together, seem to be the ones most prone to this seasonal phenomenon.
Holiday fashion freakouts can reveal themselves in many forms. Time and again, I see women panicking from a year’s worth of weight gain and the discovery that their standard go-to party clothes no longer fit. Others feel puzzled about unusual (and sometimes downright bizarre) dress code recommendations for holiday parties. And some need an overwhelming number of different outfits to attend a variety of events, from their kids’ Christmas pageants to their own and their spouse’s work parties, plus casual clothing for home parties and a glitzy New Years Eve out.
Indeed, holiday parties can be the gift that keeps on giving, and sometimes not in a good way.
Anytime a client of mine has a wardrobe meltdown – whether related to the holidays or not - it is my goal to make sure it never happens again. As Benjamin Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” (Although I wonder if old Ben could have imagined his advice would one day relate to a battery-powered light-up cowboy Santa lassoing a cactus sweater.)
And you thought I was joking
As we’re getting ready for the year’s biggest party season, here are a few ways that we can all avoid celebration-induced trauma in our own closets.
1.Know what you have
There is no time like the present (ooh, presents! ok, I need to focus here) to take stock of what you already own. Try on each piece of your holiday wardrobe. A few questions to ask yourself:
Does each piece fit?
Is the outfit appropriate for the event?
And most importantly, is it consistent with my current style?
If you answered “no” to any of the above, you may want to re-evaluate that item of clothing or the outfit as a whole.
Additional questions include:
Who is going to see me in it?
Who has already seen me in it?
Some women are highly sensitive to being seen in the same outfit twice or more. Others are not. You will have to answer that question for yourself. While some women focus on having a lot of different clothing options, others prefer to have a few quality pieces. It’s a matter of preference.
2. Resist the temptation to take the easy way out
I have been to many Christmas parties that are filled with women wearing a festive red sweater and black pants. Sometimes the path of least resistance ends in Boringtown, ladies. Even if the sweater is sparkly and embellished, it can still be considered a “uniform.” Change it up a little – even if you pair that same sweater with a black skirt and patterned tights.
3. Be like Santa – Make a List
If you are very social or have a lot of activities happening around the holidays, make a list of all the events you will be attending. Next to each event, make a general note about what you plan to wear. This can mean anything from a sweater and jeans for a party at a friend’s house to an evening gown for New Years. And then put a check next to any event that you are entirely prepared to attend. As you prepare outfits, hang them together in your closet. You may even want to hang your accessories in a freezer bag over the hanger, so all the elements of your outfit are in one spot when you need them.
4. Learn todecipher the dress code
I get an unbelievable number of calls, emails and even tweets from people all year long asking what various dress codes mean. I will give you my secret for knowing what to tell everyone: If the dress code is new to me, I google it. At least it gives me an idea of what is intended. And if that doesn’t work (I am still wondering what “warehouse chic” is), simply call the party’s host or hostess and ask. That way, you will never feel uncomfortable at an event because you are over- or underdressed.
5. Don’t run out and buy something new!
This is the ultimate fashion freakout, and trust me, we’ve all been there. If you know what you have and what you need early enough, you won’t have any reason to panic. Some of the basics I keep on hand are a black cocktail dress, a navy cocktail dress, long black tiered skirt and a new skirt (top left) I bought the other day at Target, of all places!
I was imagining all the different ways I can wear it:
With a red cardigan or a black tuxedo jacket, or a ruffled white shirt or a blazer if I am attending a business function. I know it’s a piece I will be able to wear for years and I can’t wait to have fun with it!
If you have a number of basic pieces, sometimes all you need are chandelier earrings or a fabulous necklace or brooch to look both festive AND fashionable! And isn’t that more sensible and far less expensive than buying a whole new ensemble?
*
And finally, I know all of you know this, but please leave the tacky Santa, reindeer and snowman sweaters to people attending kitschy ugly sweater parties. We all have far too much self-respect to wear them in the real world!
Unless, of course, your name is Mark Darcy. In that case, you have my permission to wear them all you want.
You have everything you need to wow them in the interview, right? A killer resume, a successful internship behind you, the compulsory dark suit – hey, you even have shiny, new shoes! You have it all together to not only get the job, but also to put yourself ahead on the track to success. Right?
Well, yes and no.
Selecting the right career accessories can take you to the next level in being branded as a credible professional. Your accessories will communicate more than just your good taste. Your appearance details are a sure sign that you care for the details in your job as well.
The smaller “bag within a bag” concept allows you to run out for coffee or lunch without having to take your larger tote along everywhere you go. A woman’s tote should be a conservative color for the interview – black or brown. But once you have the job, depending on the industry you work in, you can always branch out into fun colours or subtle patterns to add a little spice to your work wardrobe.
Watch Out Research tells us that the watch, which used to be a standard workplace accessory, may be going the way of the dinosaurs because we have so many other gadgets that tell us the time. From our computer screens to our cell phones and BlackBerries, who needs a watch these days anyway? An elegant watch speaks a subtle yet eloquent language. It not only says you are sophisticated, but it also quietly states that you value your time, and others’ time as well. Your choice in watch should be analog (leave the digital watch in 10th grade) and should have a metal band – this means gold or silver or both. If you work in a business casual office, a leather band with contrasting topstitching will also look quite sharp.
Gadgets and Gizmos Keep the number of phones, BlackBerrys, pagers and PDAs you have on your person at any one time to an absolute minimum. We live in a world where most of us have more than one device that we can clip on ourselves. While it may make you feel important at first to be entrusted with so much technology, carrying it around quickly becomes old.
For men, if you do need to wear a piece of communication technology clipped to your belt, make sure that the case is functional and presentable, and only wear one at any time. Women should be sure to have a clip on their cell phone, which you can affix to the inside of your tote. Nothing is worse than “fishing” for your phone in the bottom of your bag when it is ringing, and missing an important call from your boss. Learning to accessorize for success will boost your level of sophistication and help you along on your career path.
Kristen Kaleal is an image consultant and professional wardrobe stylist in Cleveland, OH. Learn more about her here.
