Save the Endangered European Tailor!

I'm becoming an activist. I've identified a dying breed and I'm looking for ways to save it.

And by "I'm looking for ways" I don't mean me, per se, but I hope someone is doing something and I'll contribute money to the cause. 

Sadly, I believe tailoring is a dying trade. I'm often asked for referrals to tailors for alterations and all my usual standbys are advancing in age and becoming increasingly cranky as a result - and as you can probably figure out, cranky in Russian, Czech or Italian is every bit as bad as cranky in American English, but with far less words you can understand.

If they want to be annoyed with me for asking for a rush, that's one thing, but they lose my business and all my referral business if they are anything less than pleasant to my clients.

This has been happening all too often lately. They are cranky! I can only assume this is what happened to the dinosaurs before they died out. But unlike the dino population, tailors' skills and expertise are still needed in the modern world. It's not time for them to become fossil fuel or be dug up by archaeologists and placed in museums.

I was warned years ago that Old World European tailors - ones for whom creating bespoke clothing was a noble and sometimes highly lucrative career choice back in their homeland - were a rapidly-dying breed and as far as I'm aware, no one has been trained in large enough quantities and with enough skill and knowledge to take their place.

If you've ever been fitted by a really good tailor, you will not only find out what's "wrong" with your body (most European tailors are not only very skilled, but they also don't mince words), but also how to visually camouflage it so it isn't quite so obvious.

In between telling me Vladamir Putin is the head of the Russian mob and that Putin's mob kept burning down his clothing factories "back in Дніпропетровськ" (which translated in my brain as: "Whatever"/"Oh wait, he's speaking Borat. Borat is funny. *nervous laugh*), my tailor told me that I have a "hollow shoulder." A what? That's what I said. It was also diagnosed by two other tailors, so I know he's not crazy. (No idea about the Putin commentary though.) I still don't know quite what it means and I can't see it myself, but a slightly different shoulder pad shape in a jacket is always the prescription.

So maybe that explains Quasimodo.

Overcompensating "hollow shoulder" shoulder pad

Tailoring is an art form, but also about engineering. There's a big difference between that kind of expertise and what you get at someplace like an Alterations Express. Not to say there's anything bad about having a kwik-E-mart alternative when you need simple tailoring done fast, but there is a definite separation in skill level. In our ever-impatient society, there's room for both types. If a simple hem is needed, that's where I send people. If the darts on a blouse need to be taken in or if I need sleeves shortened (all too common for me), I'll only use a tailor.

I'm concerned about what will happen as these highly specialized tailors keep getting older and closing down their little shops. The youngest European tailors I know are in their mid-40's and work for big stores like Nordstrom and clothiers specializing in menswear.

Our clothes will not stop needing expert alterations. So where will we go?

A new (and hopefully less crabby) generation of tailors is needed. I really hope someone is working on that.

And I'll $upport your cause.

Royalty, Fashion, Snark, Gossip. And Mr. Bean.

I was up for the Royal Wedding, but wasn't really "up" for it, if ya know what I mean. The media's over-reporting and telling us every last bit of minutiae and all the speculation of the so-called experts just ruin things like this for me - way ahead of the actual event.

I expected to tweet and post many more observations on Twitter and Facebook today.

What ended up coming from my stream of consciousness was quite amusing. To me, at least.

I wanted to save my tweets and Facebook updates for posterity. (Wonder what my tweets would have said during Charles & Diana's wedding...and yes, I very much remember it. Even though I wasn't born yet. Bwahahahahahahaha.)

Once you see how much my life revolves around British comedy, you might not be too surprised to find out that this blog was originally called "Keeping Up Appearances." No, the BBC did not threaten me with a lawsuit. The title just evolved. Because I shop. A lot.

So without further rambling, here's what came out of my brain during the wedding and its aftermath...

I know this royal wedding hymn because it was in a Monty Python sketch.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGEeLtqtNvU)

 

Time to stand in the tea chest.

  

Now that video is available, here's the wedding version...

 
Camilla is wearing a pair of Jimmy Choos today. I suddenly like her a little more. 
http://t.co/XHDZcP7 #rw2011 #royalwedding

Camilla + Jimmy = Not so bad
Camilla + Hat the size of the Titanic = Kind of ridiculous + Watch out for icebergs

Heard Rowan Atkinson was at the #royalwedding. Wonder if it was actually Edmund Blackadder or Mr. Bean? #rw2011











When someone responded that Mr. Bean should definitely be there, I suggested it would be more fun if Blackadder traveled through time to overthrow the queen. Live on TV.

Chelsy Davy

Prince Harry's on-again/off-again/whatev Chelsy Davy = British Tara Reid (ok, I know she's not British but she looks a little, uh, rough)
 













And one thing I didn't post because one of my FB & Twitter friends used to work for Sarah, Duchess of York:

Princess Eugenie's and Beatrice's fashion tastes reflect their mother's. Zing! 

Yes, I know that was mean. But I can't help but think of all of Fergie's terrible outfits before and after she married into the royal family. I don't think she ever could have imagined that Medusa bow hat on Prince Andrew in drag - oh wait, that's Beatrice? I don't care if their outfits are couture - Eugenie (lt) in Vivienne Westwood and Beatrice in Valentino - I bet there are vastly more flattering choices out there for them. Very few women can rock a square neckline! I want Bea's shoes though. Gimme.

I especially liked Tori Spelling's remark on E!'s Fashion Police: "They look like the wicked step-sisters."

"Have you seen Snuffleupagus?" "No. Have you?"

The Underwear Drawer Revitalization Project

I have been through a lot of women's underwear drawers. I have also been in the dressing room with a lot of women. Needless to say, I have seen more than my fair share of ratty old panties and bras.

One of the hazards of my job, I guess.

In my estimation, almost all of the women I have been around keep their basic day-to-day undies around for far too long. At least 85% of them are wearing the wrong size bra. Many are also wearing the wrong size and/or style of panties as well.

One of my clients, I will call her "B." actually said, "I'm the only one who knows my bra is probably too small, and no one else cares about my underwear anyway."

Not quite, B. First of all, poorly-fitting underwear IS noticeable. And it's precisely what we don't want to see! People don't notice properly-fitting undergarments, but they can't help but take note when they're not quite right.

From pantylines cutting into your backside to "spillage" in front, underwear that fits properly is our greatest ally. Underwear can also be our worst enemy when we disregard its importance.

It is a sign of respect for yourself and your body when you choose to wear the right size and style of underwear that not only flatters your shape, but is also comfortable. And yes, it IS possible to have both!

Underwear is indeed a very important facet of a woman's wardrobe. It can make a distinct difference in the way your clothes fit, in your perceived body proportion, and even in the sizes you wear! It can also make you look 10, 15, even 20 pounds lighter! Imagine that!

Contrary to popular belief, undies don't have to be boring or binding. And you don't have to be built like a lingerie model to wear underwear that looks beautiful on you and that makes you feel good about yourself every single day.

I would like to cordially invite you to join me in the Underwear Drawer Revitalization Project!
Here's what to do:

STEP 1: Throw out your underwear! 
 
If you spill out over the top or sides

If they have faded or turned gray from washing

If the elastic is loose

If the underwire is sticking out and poking you (owwie!)

If any of the straps or elastic cuts into your skin

If they are uncomfortable in any way

If they cause any unsightly bumps or rolls under your clothes

STEP 2: Buy new Stuff! 

Bras!

Fit is everything, ladies. Go to a lingerie boutique for a professional fitting! (Nordstrom is a good bet – they have professional bra fitters on staff)

For a smaller bust - choose a padded bra (okay, this seems elementary, but it will help balance and create proportion and your clothes WILL FIT BETTER!)

For a larger bust - wearing a full-cup underwire or a minimizer will again create balance and make your clothes fit better. Also be aware that you will have to spend more on your bras. Having two bras that really fit well instead of ten mediocre ones is clearly the way to go.

My famous "path of least resistance"? Only buy black or nude-colored bras for day-to-day. White works too, but is more detectable under certain colors. Nude fades into your skintone, which creates the desired effect.

Be sure to have an unseamed "t-shirt bra" for wearing under clingy knits.

Panties!

If you have a flabby midsection, the worst kind of panties you can wear are ones where the waistband cuts right across your stomach. The answer? Wear high-rise shaping panties that end around the ribcage. (Bridget Jones did get it right, but wore the unsexy undies at the worst possible time.)

Somewhere, a smarmy Hugh Grant is saying "Hello, Mummy!"

If you are wearing tight or light-colored pants, beware of the dreaded VPL (visible panty line). This is why thongs were invented. Seriously. Try a silk one for comfort.

Boy shorts accomplish the same as above.

Keep in mind, "the flatter, the better". Rouched and ruffly, even lace panties, can create strange ripples and patterns under your pants and skirts. Wear fabrics that are matte and unembellished. Save the fun stuff for other occasions.

If you find a style of underwear that is wonderfully comfy and flattering, don't be afraid to buy a lot of it. Maintaining a stash of safe pieces sure beats hit-or-miss underwear buying!

As with bras, life is easiest if you keep your everyday undies to a minimum of colors - again, try black and nude here as well. Easier to wash, easier to organize. Just easy. Gotta love that!

Spanx. Use them. Love them. (Also try Assets from Target, made by the Spanx people and costing just a fraction of the original product.)

***

Get inspired to create the lingerie drawer you deserve, ladies! It's magical when you can feel beautiful and comfortable with the knowledge that you look totally fabulous in your clothes.

Underneath it all, you know that you are dressing your unique body to look its best.

Now banish those rogue underwires and that stretched out elastic to the trash!!!

Looking Thinner

We did a fitness challenge called "Rock the Scales" at Mentor Fitworks based on how much the contestants worked out over a three month period. Cindy was one of the winners. She won two outfits - one that fit her lifestyle and the other to wear to the gym. She got her makeup done - as well as a hot new hairstyle along with some sexy blonde highlights for summer.

I didn't think she looked bad at all before. But when I was looking at the "Before" and "After" pictures, which were taken only four days apart, I realized just how much slimmer she looked when we applied some super simple clothing tricks that anyone can use!

Here are 10 simple tricks you can use - today!

1. Create an unbroken column of color
We did that here with the same color base garments (brown). This will make you look taller and leaner instantly!

2. Avoid clothing that cuts you off visually at your widest point
Notice that her top in the "Before" picture ends right at her hips, which makes everything above and below it look larger. In the "After" picture, her jacket ends just above the hip bone.

3. Use bright or light color strategically
Bright colors advance visually, so they can make you look bigger if you wear them all over - or in the wrong places! They aren't the best colors to wear if you have a few pounds to hide. Here, the coral denim jacket is creating a frame for the brown top to give her a slimmer shape.

4. Watch your sleeve length
In the summertime, this is a tough one! Don't let your sleeve end at a heavy part of your arm. In the "Before" picture, the sleeve ends at an unflattering spot, which makes her look bustier than she is. In the summer, you may not choose to wear a jacket, but be aware that your sleeve length matters. If you have slim arms or aren't busty, by all means go for a tank top or any sleeve length. The rest of us, however, should look for a sleeve that ends just above the bustline, on or a 3/4 length sleeve that ends on the forearm.

5. Be careful about your shoes
In the "Before' pic, Cindy is wearing a strappy sandal that cuts her legs off visually right below the ankle, thus shortening her legs. In order to make your legs looks longer and thinner, avoid wearing a strap on the leg or close to the ankle. Instead, wear a sandal like she is wearing in the "After" picture. Instead of the straps being straight, they criss-cross and are situated lower on the foot. (P.S. Avoid those popular "gladiator" sandals like the plague.)

6. Where do your pants end?
Just like your sleeves, the length of your pants matters. Capris, crops and all their short-pant friends can throw your body proportions off-kilter, which can make you look heavier than you are. And we don't want that! Here are your two rules to remember!

1) A wider-leg pant makes your bottom half look bigger.

2) Don't let your pants end at a wide part of your leg. To rock out a cropped or capri pant, the length is key. They should end:

- Just below the knee
- On a slimmer part of the calf (below the fullest part)
- Just above the ankle

7. Create or define your waist
Since Cindy has a body shape that naturally doesn't have much waist definition, we needed to create a waist for her. We did this with the coral jacket, which had a nice shape to it. With no effort from us, voilà! she has an hourglass figure!

8. Round adds pounds
A crisp v-neck or higher neck line would have been more flattering than the deep scoop neck she was wearing before. Round necklines can make the neck and face look heavier and the shoulders look wider.

9. Vertical Details
The best trick is to keep the eye moving vertically. The buttons on the jacket are creating a subtle but effective vertical line which leads the eye up and down. A long necklace would have had the same effect.

10. Rethink your hairstyle
Did you know that a great hairstyle can slim your face? I mentioned the importance of vertical lines before. Do you see the lines that are framing her face? Even the blonde streaks reinforce the strong verticals of the 'do!


Clothes: Macy's/Great Lakes Mall (Brown outfit: Jones NY/Workout outfit: Style & Co.)
Hair & Makeup: Julia Niedzialek/Jenniffer & Co.
Styled by: Me :)

Season: Deep Autumn
Contrast: Medium to Low-Medium
Body Type: Rectangle
Fashion Personality: Natural Classic

I Don't Love the 80’s

On Monday, August 7th, trend analyst Kelly Smith and I went out to Crocker Park for my birthday. The visit had a dual purpose since she will be leaving to return to school in NYC and we wanted to do a fall preview column in our September newsletter.

I am not a huge trend watcher, so I’m thankful that Kelly has her finger on the pulse of what’s new and hip in the fashion world. And because the fashion world is constantly recycling old styles, we never know what we’re going to get each season.

Imagine my dismay when I learned that the 80’s were back. Yes, the 1980’s – the decade of Flashdance, Working Girl and the Brat Pack. I thought I was going to die when I saw what the stores were offering. We saw everything from bubble skirts to belted sweater dresses with leggings, super skinny jeans, bold black and white, black and purple, and black and red horizontal stripe tunics – which are wrong in so many ways. I mean, wasn’t Freddy Krueger around in the 80’s? And didn’t he wear a red & black horizontal stripe sweater? Who in their right mind wants to look like that??!!

We also saw a plethora of dolman sleeves, very wide belts, vests with ruffled shirts a la Janet Jackson in 1986, high-waisted skirts, and clutch purses. Layering is still really big. There is also a lot more gray out there than I have seen in years.

What does this all mean?

Kelly thought a lot of the 80’s inspired outfits were cute. And some of them were. But, as I explained to her, there is a reason those styles did not catch on and stay in style and become classics. It is because they do not flatter most bodies. Try putting a big thick belt on a short-waisted woman. Or a sweater dress on someone who has a few pounds to lose. How about a horizontal-striped top on a woman who is topheavy?

Unfortunately, most people are oblivious to their own unique body shape. I warned Kel that the fashion victims would truly be victims this fall. There is a lot that can be done wrong with the season’s clothes. And wouldn’t you know, I was at Beachwood Place the next day when I saw one of those fashion nightmares.

A young woman, probably in her early 20’s was dressed like the 80’s. And I’m sure she thought she looked super cute and on the edge of fashion. Unfortunately, she was about 5’0, very fair skinned, and wearing a black and white horizontal-striped tunic with a wide belt over leggings with flats.

Nothing about this outfit was right for the person wearing it. From the colors and contrast that completely overpowered her to the horizontal stripes that made her look shorter and wider to the belt that created rolls of flab where there probably weren’t any to begin with.

So, yes, the 80’s are back, but I will be warning every trend-conscious woman out there to pick and choose their pieces even more carefully than usual. I am predicting this look will not last beyond winter. Thankfully.