Musings from a Sole Diva

Give a girl the correct footwear and she can conquer the world.

- Bette Midler

What is it with women and shoes, anyway? Have you ever wondered why we are attracted to and feel compelled to purchase so many of them? Is it our womanly right to have as many shoes as we desire (or can afford)? Why are the words "women" and "shoes" forever linked in infamy? And why do men need 3 only pairs of shoes when the correct number for women is infinity? Am I the only person who thinks of such things? Probably, but indulge me anyway! Let’s take a peek at why, intentionally or unintentionally, every woman channels her own inner Imelda Marcos.

If the Shoe Fits…

Unlike men’s clothing, women’s clothing sizes are inconsistent and all over the place. What may be a size 6 in one designer may be a size 8 in another. There is no consistent method used for creating women’s clothing, and we all are shaped differently. What happens when you think you are a size 10 but instead a 12 fits because of the designer you selected? It doesn’t make you feel good, does it? If you’re like the rest of us, you probably feel disappointed, your self image is shaken, and you may want to rush into a crash diet, right?

For whatever reason, we internalize our clothing size, beating ourselves up if we aren’t the size we think we should be. Feeling rejected, we may find ourselves in the shoe department. Here, if we try on a pair that is a little snug, chances are we won’t have a full-on identity crisis like we did in the fitting room, right ladies? We just go up a half-size. We think of this as the manufacturer’s problem, not our issue. Problem solved - and another pair finds its way into in our closet.

Therapy for the Sole?

I happen to think that there are two things that never reject women – food and shoes. We use both for comfort and as positive reinforcement. Not that either is particularly healthy for us. I would rather have a smokin’ pair of strappy stilettos over a piece of cheesecake any day, but different women use different diversions to get through tough times. A relationship gone bad, issues with friends, and strife at work all seem to be lessened with a little momentary splurge.

But when you come down from the high from your funky new Marc Jacobs stilettos or when the sugar rush wears off, you’re still left with a problem that isn’t remedied. So the diversion of buying new shoes or indulging in some serious caloric intake won’t make the challenges of the real world go away. It just lessens the impact for an hour or two. Problem not solved – but somehow we still end up with more shoes.

The Shoe Hoarder

Psychological factors aside, there happen to be legitimate reasons why we seem to require a lot of shoes. We have a vast array of clothing needs that are very different from men. While traditionally, guys have the option of wearing pants most of the time, or shorts sometimes, women need different shoes for pants, capris, short skirts, long skirts, casual styles, dressy styles, and the list can go on and on. We need specific shoes and heel heights for our diverse wardrobe. Not to mention basic colors and accent colors, and different shoes for the cold and warm seasons! What does this turn into?

A wardrobe full of shoes, of course! Problem solved?? Fortunately, we are limited by budget and space, and eventually one or the other will run out! Hopefully this will happen before the A&E camera crews make their way to your house.

MY TRUE SHOE CONFESSIONS

Here’s some stuff I’m not too proud of, but feel I feel the need to get it off my feet….

1. I buy knockoff shoes (sometimes)

Yes, this is the same person who said don’t, under any circumstances, buy a fake bag! A knockoff shoe merely means that a style a famous maker created is produced with a slight variation in style and typically, with less expensive materials. You would be surprised how many high-end and low-end shoes are made in the very same factory, but the label makes all the difference in the price point! On frivolous shoe purchases, such as the 4” faux pony hair leopard peeptoe Steve Madden knockoffs I bought, I spend as little as possible. Shoes like this will spend most of their shelf life in your closet, so I would advise skimping on fun accent shoes such as these.

2. I don’t care what my shoes are made of

I’m a vegetarian - almost a vegan. Have been since I was a kid. But I will buy almost any kind of animal skin or fur to wear on my feet without thinking twice! They just have to be cute. (Next thing I know, PETA will be aiming buckets of paint at my feet!) I don’t care to own a leather coat, I would never wear real fur, but basically I would wear endangered snow leopard cub fur-lined boots if they looked cute enough.

(I am joking, of course. I would never wear endangered snow leopard cub fur! But I do have a couple of non-endangered skins and hairs that I’m not too proud of as a bona fide veg – sorry! I assure you they are really cute though!!)

3. I buy quantity over quality

There are 5 Basic Shoe Styles that every woman should have in her closet. This is where to be sure to buy quality since these are your workhorses and should last for several seasons.

1) Tall black or brown boots 2) Basic sneakers 3) Flats or loafers 4) Basic black stiletto pumps and 5) Strappy metallic sandals.

Once the basics are taken care of, I’m all about quantity, quantity, quantity!! The more shoes, the merrier!!! (Yes, I have a problem – but at least my feet always look good!!)

***

It’s funny that almost every guy I meet thinks his woman is the only one with a truckload of shoes. I assure them that while yes, we all love shoes (some of us more than others), the clothing that we wear necessitates at least seven pairs of black heels (I am such an enabler!) as well as various combinations of boots, sandals, flats, wedges, platforms, mules, etc, etc.

I tell them that we need our shoes because they complete our outfits. What I don’t mention is that in some bizarre cosmic way they may also complete us.

Kristen Kaleal is a wardrobe stylist who knows that the day she can no longer pull off five inch heels is the day that she will have to admit she is short. And that will not be a happy day. But until then, she's walkin' tall and writing quirky things about herself in the third person.

Phil Collins retires; my knee has never been happier!

I could not be happier to hear the good news today. Phil Collins is retiring!!! This gives me a great reason to dance a jig a couple of weeks before St. Patty's Day. Maybe not just a regular jig - I will need to invent a

!!! SUPER JIG !!!

for this momentous occasion.

A lot of people have seen my Twitter profile (yo, follow me if you're not already) and wondered exactly what my problem is with a certain Mr. Phil Collins. No, my "unresolved issues" are not just a quirky little made up factoid to give prospective followers a glimpse of what my quirky little tweets will be like.

My problems with the defendant, Mr. Collins, run much deeper than that.

Without a doubt, the guy is the purveyor of some of the worst music of my generation - even though he's old enough to be my great-great grandfather. (And that was what you call a hyperbole, kids. In reality, he's only old enough to be my grandpa - and yet with less hair than my gramp had in his 90's.)

I really didn't like the reincarnated Genesis and was too young to understand the original with Peter Gabriel (I still sorta don't see how that evolved into conventional bullcrap music with the addition of a balding drummer, but maybe that is the source - aka "genesis" ha ha - of the problem.)

I  truly hated the song Illegal Alien, even though at the time I didn't realize how extremely discriminatory it was. The video was racist and filled with stereotypes to the extreme.

NOT* RACIST

(*And by not, I mean TOTALLY, of course.)

And then there's the mid-80's video where he's a bum and wears fingerless gloves, which are a staple of my winter gear nowadays. Not only did he ruin an accessory which is mandatory for a writer who frequently suffers from cold hands and lives in a cold weather state, but he made me think of a bum every time I've seen him since then.

The worst "P.C." (Get it? And I don't mean "politically correct"!) infraction came when I was in 10th grade and had knee surgery, which was followed by a long stint in physical therapy. When my mom picked me up from school and took me to therapy twice a week, the only songs we seemed to hear in a six-week period were "Another Day in Paradise" (the irony of that song was completely lost on my teen mind) and "I Wish it Would Rain Down" or whatever it's called. It's not really worth the three seconds to Google it. (Which is actually ironic - I understand this concept now - because I'm taking precious time to write a post about the dude. Sorry, but it's not every day you receive life-altering news like this. And if you guessed that was another hyperbole, you are wrong. My existence will never be the same knowing there will be no more Phil Collins lite rock to fear for the rest of my life.)

Anyway, back to my knee...added to the fact that I was on crutches, in a brace and wearing ugly shoes all the time, it was also the yucky end of winter in Cleveland, which is exactly as wonderful as it sounds. The rain was frequently fallin' (in fact every day was kind of like today) and if anyone reading this has joint problems, you know I was hurting more because of the dampness.

And Phil just rubbed it in. "Let it rai-ai-ai-ai-ai-n down, let it rai-ai-ai-ai-ai-n down on Kristen and her crappy kneeeee...."

Can someone say D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N ?

I can. "DEPRESSION."

More insipid Genesis music came along in the 90's. More craptastic solo music too. The list of music related to that guy that I can't tolerate is a mile long. Perhaps the only songs I can stand are "Groovy Kind of Love" - first, it's a cover and second, pretty good memories are attached to it. And second, "Easy Lover" because Phillip Bailey, the signature voice from one of my very favorite bands, Earth, Wind & Fire, dominates it.

Phil Collins won an Academy Award for perhaps the most trite and awful song from a Disney movie ever (and this includes the Siamese cats song from The AristoCats). Does anyone remember how South Park skewered him and his Oscar? I know there were sour grapes involved, but Trey's Blame Canada SHOULD have won.

Anyway, I've grown very weary of the subject matter. I'm surprised I've actually lasted this long.

Allow me to conclude with a few lyrics he once sang (and I was forced to listen to in countless convenience stores, car washes, and bus depots). Ok, I don't think I've ever actually been in a bus depot, but it's the sort of music I would imagine they might play in one.

Jesus he knows me
and he knows I'm right
I've been talking to Jesus all my life
oh yes he knows me
and he knows I'm right
and he's been telling me
everything is alright

And yes, Jesus, everything IS alright.

Phil Collins is no longer making music. All is right with the world :-) :-) :-)

Fishnets: Not just for Dr. Frank-N-Furter

When it's chilly outside, I tend to wear skirts with tall boots quite a bit. I'm not a huge fan of tights. If it were up to me, I would just run around with bare legs all fall and winter (and flip-flops too!). But that would be silly and I would get sick.

Over the last few years, the unexpected solution to this dilemma has been fishnet stockings.

In the past, if I couldn't find a pair of tights that matched a skirt or boots perfectly, I wouldn't wear the outfit. For instance, I have a plum corduroy skirt that I love and wanted desperately to wear. Good luck finding a matching shade of tights though. I hunted all over the U.S. and part of Canada and found none. The other usual go-to shades, black or brown, also weren't quite right. Neither were 'just a little off' colors like purple or burgundy. The only answer that made sense was nude-colored fishnets and tan boots.

They worked so perfectly that I had an epiphany: When nothing else works, fishnets are sometimes the answer. They increase one's cold weather dressing options immensely.

I know that they have a questionable past. Most people think of ladies of the evening. To me, they have always brought to mind misfits from midnight showings of Rocky Horror.

Just a sweet transvestite...

But that has all changed as they've become so readily available in so many shapes, colors, styles and sizes. Fishnet stockings don’t have to match your skirt or boot precisely, but they should work to blend the two together so that your legs are covered and they don’t attract unwanted attention. Think of them more as a finishing point (working in unison with the other pieces you’re wearing to complete your outfit) than as focal point to draw the eye down to your legs. Unless you want that, of course ;)

Here are a few pointers:
1. They work best with a skirt that ends just at or right above the knee. They are also fine with long skirts. Wear fishnets with a miniskirt at your own risk.

2. I prefer to wear them with knee-high boots - pairing with pumps is okay too. I'm not a big fan of wearing fishnets with sandals for dressy occasions, but with peeptoes, they are fine.

3. If your outfit is “busy”, go for plain tights. If you want to wear fishnets, the more basic the outfit, the better. If you want to wear them with a print, see #4.

4. The tighter the fishnet weave , the more they look like a solid from far away. Smaller patterns are also dressier.

5. Try to match either your hemline color or boot as well as possible for a seamless transition

And a few words of warning:
* Make sure they don’t have a seam up the back for obvious reasons.
* Medium or small sized patterns work best.
* If they get a hole in them, they must be discarded. No holey fishnets.
* Don’t opt for thigh-highs.
* And NEVER buy your fishnets in a Halloween store!

Musings from a Sole Diva

Give a girl the correct footwear and she can conquer the world.

- Bette Midler

What is it with women and shoes, anyway? Have you ever wondered why we are attracted to and feel compelled to purchase so many of them? Is it our womanly right to have as many shoes as we desire (or can afford)? Why are the words ‘women’ and ‘shoes’ forever linked in infamy? And why do men need 3 only pairs of shoes when the correct number for women is infinity? Am I the only person who thinks of such things? Probably, but indulge me anyway! Let’s take a peek at why, intentionally or unintentionally, every woman channels her own inner Imelda Marcos.

If the Shoe Fits…
Unlike men’s clothing, women’s clothing sizes are inconsistent and all over the place. What may be a size 6 in one designer may be a size 8 in another. There is no consistent method used for creating women’s clothing, and we all are shaped differently. What happens when you think you are a size 10 but instead a 12 fits because of the designer you selected? It doesn’t make you feel good, does it? If you’re like the rest of us, you probably feel disappointed, your self image is shaken, and you may want to rush into a crash diet, right?

For whatever reason, we internalize our clothing size, beating ourselves up if we aren’t the size we think we should be. Feeling rejected, we may find ourselves in the shoe department. Here, if we try on a pair that is a little snug, chances are we won’t have a full-on identity crisis like we did in the fitting room, right ladies? We just go up a half-size. We think of this as the manufacturer’s problem, not our issue. Problem solved - and another pair finds its way into in our closet.

Shoe Therapy
I happen to think that there are two things that never reject women – food and shoes. We use both for comfort and as positive reinforcement. Not that either is particularly healthy for us. I would rather have a smokin’ pair of strappy stilettos over a piece of cheesecake any day, but different women use different diversions to get through tough times. A relationship gone bad, issues with friends, and strife at work all seem to be lessened with a little momentary splurge.

But when you come down from the high from your funky new Marc Jacobs wedges or when the sugar rush wears off, you’re still left with a problem that isn’t remedied. So the diversion of buying new shoes or indulging in some serious caloric intake won’t make the challenges of real world go away. It just lessens the impact for an hour or two. Problem not solved – but somehow we still end up with more shoes.

The Shoe Collection
Psychological factors aside, there happen to be legitimate reasons why we seem to require a lot of shoes. We have a vast array of clothing needs that are very different from men. While traditionally, guys have the option of wearing pants most of the time, or shorts sometimes, women need different shoes for pants, capris, short skirts, long skirts, casual styles, dressy styles, and the list can go on and on. We need specific shoes and heel heights for our diverse wardrobe. Not to mention basic colors and accent colors, and different shoes for the cold and warm seasons! What does this turn into?

A wardrobe full of shoes, of course! Problem solved?? Fortunately, we are limited by budget and space, and eventually one or the other will run out!

KK's TRUE SHOE CONFESSIONS
Here’s some stuff I’m not too proud of, but feel I need to get off my chest….

1. I buy knockoff shoes
Yes, this is the same person who said don’t, under any circumstances, buy a fake bag! A knockoff shoe merely means that a style a famous maker created is produced with a slight variation in style and typically, with less expensive materials. You would be surprised how many high-end and low-end shoes are made in the very same factory, but the label makes all the difference in the price point! On frivolous shoe purchases, such as the 4” faux pony hair leopard peeptoe Steve Madden knockoffs I bought, I spend as little as possible. Shoes like this will spend most of their shelf life in your closet, so I would advise skimping on fun accent shoes such as these.

2. I don’t care what my shoes are made of
I’m a vegetarian - almost a vegan. Have been since I was a kid. But I will buy almost any kind of animal skin or fur to wear on my feet without thinking twice! They just have to be cute. (Next thing I know, PETA will be aiming buckets of paint at my feet!) I don’t care to own a leather coat, I would never wear real fur, but basically I would wear endangered snow leopard cub fur-lined boots if they looked cute enough.

(I am joking, of course. I would never wear endangered snow leopard cub fur! But I do have a couple of non-endangered skins and hairs that I’m not too proud of as a bona fide veg – sorry! I assure you they are really cute though!!)

3. I buy quantity over quality
There are 5 Basic Shoe Styles that every woman should have in her closet. This is where to be sure to buy quality since these are your workhorses and should last for several seasons.

1) Tall black or brown boots 2) Basic sneakers 3) Flats or loafers 4) Basic black stiletto pumps and 5) Strappy metallic sandals.

Once the basics are taken care of, I’m all about quantity, quantity, quantity!! The more shoes, the merrier!!! (Yes, I have a problem – but at least my feet always look good!!)

***

It’s funny that almost every guy I meet thinks his woman is the only one with a truckload of shoes. I assure them that while yes, we all love shoes (some of us more than others), the clothing that we wear necessitates at least seven pairs of black heels (I am such an enabler!) as well as various combinations of boots, sandals, flats, wedges, platforms, mules, etc, etc.

I tell them that we need our shoes because they complete our outfits. What I don’t mention is that in some bizarre cosmic way they may also complete us.

Navigating the 7 Seas of Sale Shopping

….and avoid walking the full price plank!

This is a newsletter article I thought I would dust off since pirates (alas, the very, very bad kind) are in the news again.

Ahoy Mateys!

If there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that yours truly shouldn’t watch pirate movies. They’re just too darn inspiring. They leave me dangerously inspired to draw you a map to lead right to the best shopping treasures out there.

You may hear about fabulous deals in consignment shops, outlet malls, thrift stores, little out of the way places, but you don’t know why you never find them yourself.

As your captain, I will help guide you through the rough sale waters. It’s high tide and time to pillage & plunder the stores!

1. Do your research

I must have been a research analyst in another life. How many of my columns include this advice? Regardless, I cannot stress this enough! Know what you like, what colors are your personal basics, and what accent colors look great on you. Know where to get what you like and what it should cost.

For instance, I like going to Talbots for basics. You better believe I hit the Talbots outlet in Solon (southeast of Cleveland). I bought a basic tropical wool suit there for…$60. Regular price was $180. And I’ve been able to wear it together and as separates more than almost anything in my closet. It was the right color, right fit, and I knew it was something I would get a lot of wear from.

2. Be prepared to shop off-season

Get rid of the preconceived notion that hey, it’s sunny now, so that means it’s time to buy capris. Great sale shoppers shop year round and plan ahead. So what if you’re buying tank tops in December and wool pants in June? I know this probably goes against everything your mother told you, but if you find something you love now, you will probably love it five months from now as well. Plus it’s always fun to pull out your winter or summer clothes and find something you completely forgot you bought!

3. Get chummy with the sales staff

If you can get over the fear of being pressured to buy something you don’t want, a good sales person can be your greatest ally. You better believe they have advance warning about sales, and they will usually spill the beans.

Why? Many department stores like Nordstrom have a commissioned sales personnel. And if they aren’t commissioned, like at Dillard’s, you can bet they have a sales quota to meet. If you see something you like on Thursday and the sale isn’t until Saturday, you may be able to get them to hold it for you.

4. Brush up on your sale dictionary

Think quick – what’s a promotion? What does clearance mean? Hmmm?? A promotion is done in-season to push merchandise. This is the same stuff you will find much cheaper at the end of the season when it’s put on clearance. Generally, prices keep getting slashed until the merchandise is gone or until it ends up being sent to an off-price retailer (TJ Maxx, Marshalls) or a clearance center (think Nordstrom Rack or Last Call Neiman Marcus).

The favorite place for my friends and me to pick up good stuff on clearance? After it has bypassed all these channels, it usually ends up on the clearance racks at TJ Maxx, Marshalls and Ross (which I love, but are everywhere EXCEPT the Midwest!)

5. Stay away from oddball pieces

One of my worst buys ever was a brown cotton prairie-style skirt (bought when they were hot) with pale blue embroidery and sequins. Yes, it was 75% off and I wore it for a special occasion, but now it’s going to gather dust in my downstairs closet until I give it away. To me that is a big-time waste. I was shopping at the last minute, which I never do, and I liked it – sort of. But I never would have purchased it in a non-pressure situation.

To avoid this pitfall, make sure whatever you buy can be worn with AT LEAST 3 other pieces you already have.

Even at 75% off, that skirt was no bargain. Not only was it a waste of $40 I could have put toward something I truly love and makes me feel great, but more importantly, it bugs me every time I see it. I always ask myself “Why?”

See, even the pros make occasional mistakes. But believe me, I think of that skirt every time temptation strikes to buy something on impulse.

6. Beware of the BOGO

You may know that this means when you buy one get one half off. To a great bargain hunter, it’s a sucker bet. If you never pay full price for anything, don’t pay full price now, even if you get one for 50% off. Here’s how it works. Say two pairs of shoes are $50 apiece. You buy one for $50 and you get one for $25. Combined, that’s only 25% off. Any moderately adept sale junkie knows that is no bargain.

A better buy that we used to see everywhere is the buy one get one FREE. Keep an eye out for this and take advantage of it when you see it.

7. Buy only what you LOVE and NEED

I have seen way too many closets with pieces of clothing with miscellaneous sale tags still hanging on them – “but it was Jones NY and it was only $20!” Beware – this is a serious money and space trap.

Think of your closet as precious high-rent real estate in Manhattan. You sure as heck want to maximize every square inch – because you HAVE to. Whether you have a huge walk-in closet or a teeny tiny one, there shouldn’t be space wasted by pieces you bought on sale that will never see the light of day. Be smart when you buy.

No one ever says "I want to smell like Britney"

I'm not a perfume junkie, and in fact, I rarely wear any. But when I like a perfume, I REALLY like it.

In a world of bimbettes putting their names on products, I am really careful about what I buy. Just like I don't buy Jessica Simpson shoes or bags, I try not to give my money to the media celebs who get under my skin. But sometimes, I can't help it - I want to smell like them.

These are my favorite perfumes:

NOT Embarrassing
1. Cashmere Mist
2. Guess by Marciano (right)

EMBARRASSING
1. Midnight Fantasy by Britney Spears (left)
2. Heiress by Paris Hilton


Anyone else out there embarrassed about what fragrances they are attracted to?

(Hope it's not just me!)

25 Random Things About Me

I am all about free blog content, baby!

I was tagged on Facebook to write 25 things about myself, and I thought I would share the love with my oft-neglected blog as well.

So here they are:

1. Centipedes terrify me.

2. My dad calls me “Cup” which is short for Cupcake.

3. My favorite place is Santa Monica.

4. I was pre-med for 2 ½ years.

5. I’ve thrown up at the Rock + Roll Hall of Fame.

6. I think Grease 2 is the worst movie in history.

7. I don’t believe in astrology, but I am a textbook Leo.

8. I have been stranded in a flood.

9. I've had 3 TMJ surgeries.

10. My dad, both grandpas, and my uncle are named AL.

11. I think snakes are cool.

12. I don’t like breakfast foods.

13. I firmly believe that “goat” is the funniest word ever.

14. I have nightmares that I’m back in college, it’s finals time and I never went to class.

15. I was voted “Most likely to get into politics” in 8th grade.

16. I think the most nauseating smell is Bath & Body’s Plumeria.

17. I saw Tina Fey at Second City in 1996.

18. My signature was once described as “frilly and ostentatious.”

19. I won’t step foot in the ocean or lakes.

20. I almost had my own TV show.

21. I own no less than 12 shampoos at any time.

22. I am friends with John Belushi’s first cousin.

23. I close my eyes during the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

24. I once lived down the street from the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas.

25. I can still do the splits.

My 'Deep Throat' Memory - huh?

The death of the "real" Deep Throat from 'All the President's Men' brought back an old, repressed memory for me.

I am a Robert Redford fan. He played Bob Woodward in the movie. Remember?

And the actor Hal Holbrook played Deep Throat.

I met Mr. Holbrook way back in college. He was in town playing Willy Loman in 'Death of a Salesman' along with Steven Webber from 'Wings.'

I asked him what Redford was like. I can't remember his answer. Yes, I am an absolute dork.

Ironically, years later, I trained in wardrobe consulting with one of the people who dressed his wife Dixie Carter on Designing Women.

Probably should have asked him what it was like to be married to a Sugarbaker woman instead....

Maybe I wouldn't have seemed so stupid....


P.S. I also need to plug my favorite Watergate movie 'Dick.' Will Ferrell as Woodward is the best. Have you seen it?

I Wrap Better than Jay-Z

Like many of us, I eagerly wait every year for Christmas. You may be wondering why.

* Am I looking forward to seeing my family? Not particularly. I see them all the time.

* Is it for religious reasons? I would like to say yes, but in reality, not so much.

* Do I want a big pile of presents? Well, duh. But that’s not why.

The truth is, I WANNA WRAP PRESENTS. REALLY, REALLY BAD.

For this little elf, wrapping Christmas gifts is a once-a-year way to express myself visually in a medium besides creatively dressing myself and others. I find it to be an extension of my job as a wardrobe stylist. If pretty wrapping paper is the clothing, then the bows and ribbons are definitely the accessories. No wonder I love it! (Plus, I hate to admit it, but I am a little crafty too – but I don’t scrapbook or make crafts.)

At Christmastime, nothing delights me more than creating attractive packages for my friends and family to open. In my mind at least, I am pretty good at it. So I wrapped early this year and decided to share some of my secrets.

The Essentials

1) Tags – sticky ones and hang tags in colors and patterns that compliment my wrap

2) Scissors, scalloped-edge scissors, hole punch, matte scotch tape, glue stick

3) Various ribbons, string, raffia, and pipe cleaners

4) Lunch-style Christmas bags

5) Tissue – Red, green, and all sorts of patterns

6) Scrapbook paper

The Tradition

I usually wrap everything at once on the Sunday night before Christmas while watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s a movie I don’t have to watch to know what’s going on. For me, it’s like my background music.

The Wrap

In the past, I have done uniform wrapping themes (for instance, all the gifts I wrap are gold or red and swirly, or made from natural materials).

Now, just like with my closet, I buy and use what I am attracted to most. My decorating aesthetic tends toward mod, retro or swirly patterns and bright colors, and that’s where I go with my Christmas wrap as well. People can immediately tell which gifts are from me based on the colors and patterns. It’s kind of my signature.

I really like non-traditional colors for Christmas like lime and orange. If you look closely, you will notice that these colors have made their way into Christmas wrap and accessories. I still do the traditional red and green and metallics, but if the colors are more vibrant or funky, that seems to inspire me more.

You can also use non-Christmas wrap! One of my best secrets is to get away from the Christmas section of the store and see if anything in the regular wrap section inspires me. I found this lime green wrap and added deep red ribbons for a Christmas look.

Proportion

Just as petite people look “off” in large patterns and larger people don’t look quite right in tiny prints, proportion is vital in wrapping Christmas gifts. Keep small, medium, and large-patterned paper on hand.

I tend to buy small and medium-size gifts, so that is what I focus on when buying wrap.

(Note: the Christmas tree package’s ribbon is greener than it appears.)

For the Kiddies

I don’t particularly care for buying character wrapping paper. This is what my mom has always done. To me, it’s much more fun to find pink and lavender Christmas wrap for my nieces (below) and fun boyish wrap for the nephews, without having to wrap everything in giant pictures of Barbie or Spider-Man.

Mixing Patterns

I love creatively mixing patterns in wardrobes, and with Christmas wrap and accessories, It’s really no different. As long as you use one larger, further apart pattern and one smaller, more closely spaced pattern – or they somehow relate color-wise - you should have a winner.

Candy cane stripe ribbon with green polka dot wrap!

Yellow bag, funky tissue paper, red-on-red polka dot paper.

Tag!

Personally, I prefer hanging tags for my presents, but find a better selection of sticky tags. So I make my own hang tags. I stick the to/from stickers to patterned scrapbooking paper, cut them out with my scalloped scissors, and punch a hole in them. Then I have the freedom to affix them to my gifts however I like.

The odd-shaped gift

I don’t know about you, but I find that I have to wrap at least a couple of cylinder-shaped gifts every year. They naturally become candy!

I double-wrapped this with a piece of colored tissue paper inside, and cut the ends of both with my trusty scalloped scissors.

I also like printed lunch bags for items that are hard to wrap. I use the scalloped scissors on the top and then punch holes across. I then lace cord or raffia through to close them.

Ribbons & Bows

I use the standard, store-bought bows, but sometimes I add to them with curls or raffia.

On an extra large package, instead of spending $5 on a bow that will get tossed in the trash, I staple a bunch of curling ribbon onto a small piece of cardboard and curl it. Then I tape it to the package under where the bow will go and I arrange it around the bow.

Or sometimes raffia gives it an extra kick.

Or, if you’re a traditionalist and like to use satin ribbon, you know it isn’t the easiest material to work with. It takes a little engineering.

To create the following look, I first taped the ribbon to the bottom to secure it. I then tied a bow and used a trick from my “bag of tricks” (and I do have one) – double-stick tape. Instead of taping a client into a dress, as I sometimes need to do, I simply molded the bow the way I wanted it to look and stuck it to the package. Looks simple, huh?

Storing it all until next year

I bought this container from Target this year.

It’s supposed to hold Christmas ornaments, but I found it perfect for storing all my wrapping materials. The tissue paper and scissors, tags, tape, etc go on the top, and the bottom is for the ribbons.

I also use small hair rubber bands (the black “ouchless” kind) to secure the ends of my wrapping paper rolls. Try this! It will save your paper for next year.

Where to buy

Here are the places where I seem to find fun and well-priced wrapping paper and supplies:

(It does end up in the garbage, after all!!)

Target (found that green ‘candy’ wrap above in the $1 section!)

Factory Card Outlet

Dollar Tree

Tuesday Morning

Jo Ann etc.

World Market

***

So those are my wrapping tips and tricks. Anyone want to share theirs?

(Sorry about the fonts switching around - Blogger gets ornery when I use a lot of pictures, and I don't feel like going all the way through the HTML code to figure out the problem.)